Saturday, September 15, 2012
Trust your Gut and Never Go Back
I am a friend for life type so I am all in. It takes me a long time to give up on people that I have given everything for. If your a person that has left me or I have left you. It took a long time and you probably treated me miserably for a long time before I had decided I had had enough.
Not sure why I guess people of the other types enjoy taking a person like me and trying to see how long will she put up with me. Damn, some would say. Had no idea it would take her that long.
My first long term boyfriend. Seven years! Seven years of him acting like a baby. A regular momma's boy and never in our time together getting his act together in a way I felt we could move out and get a place of our own. And why should he leave his mother's house. Cooking service, laundry service, maid service. Hell, I guess I wouldn't have left either. Well at least I know I was not enough for him to get his act together for. Not sure if anyone ever was.
Most people that I part ways with. Fall under a very simple rule.
Never go back.
It will not get better. They will not change. They did mean what they said, and as you have already learned about me I will never forget.
It was Christmas 1990 when this rule #1 went into effect.
Remember no names. Funny it doesn't matter only 3 people reading this might even remember his name.
First, I stood up for myself a couple times and realized I was ok alone. Went to a dear friend's wedding by myself because the loser changed his mind at the last minute. Oh well, I am going anyway! Not hard words to say but it really took me to push myself to go out the door.
Another time I was going to stop by a co-workers house on the way home. He did not want me to. I said, Ok. And did it anyway. Even went so far as to call from the friends to say I was home. Now the end is near. I do not like to lie and should not have to.
A few more weeks later. He pulls the if you don't do what I want I am going to kill myself act and locks himself in the bathroom. Did I mention he was 25 at this point. Well that was the day. I begged, pleaded. Still in the bathroom. Not knowing what else to do I decided the Jeanne that has a back bone better show up. I knocked on the bathroom door and said, either you come out or I am leaving. He said, he would kill himself as I walked away I said then your mom will be the one to find your body.
Went to what at the time I thought was my best friends house only to find out that he and she well...
Yeah, After 7 years with this guy and being friends with her since middle school. Rule #1 was invoked for 2 people that I had been close to for a very long time. I think I have seen him once since then and her I never saw again.
Don't think about either of them often.
Another guy I dated for a while none of you have ever met.
I met at Radio Shack. I helped him with a return of a phone and he came back and asked me over to his place. An older guy. Much older. He didn't want any of the same things I did but for a short time he was a person I could be with that treated me well. Tried to help me be a better person. But not interested in forever or children. Kinda sad at the time. Then he told me he met a woman closer in age. It might have been a lie to let me go. Funny thing is years later, he would call and check in and see if I was happy. I think he was sad to hear that I was getting married. He has even called since I have been married but it has probably been at least 10 years since the last call, but I have never seen him again. There is really no need.
Last but best example of Rule #1 some of you may remember. He also helped create another rule
Trust your gut
When you get in an elevator and get a creepy feeling about the person already there you get in anyway. No other animal in nature would lock themselves in a steel box with another creature that scares them besides a human.
I have only been wrong a few times and only twice I have changed my mind and trusted a person that originally made me believe they were not trust worthy.
One was liar and a thief. I had him pegged wrong to begin with. I thought he was a decent kid that I worked with. But as time went by I questioned it. Well when he got promoted and moved to another store and stole 3 days worth deposits. I could not believe it. I was so mad for letting my guard down and trusting him.
Another person I worked with he was an older manger, been around forever. I worked at his store when his assistant manager was on vacation. Could never figure out why the lottery never came out right at his store. Always be 100's of dollars off. I would call and blame myself. Must have made a mistake. I even went by once to see what I did wrong and he said not to worry he took care of it. Never questioned it. Neither did one of his assistant managers. She knew they were going to have an LP visit and she checked the books and signed off on something he had done. Trusting he had done it. Well... He didn't and guess who almost got blamed for the missing deposit. No it wasn't me but man. Never sign off on something you did not do. EVER.
I am saving the third for his own post.
So to wrap up this crazy day.
We have learned:
Never Go Back & Trust your Gut.
You are worth it. Don't bother with those that are no good for you. No matter how much you try it will always get you. And why waist time with people not willing to give you everything you are worth.