Sunday, February 18, 2018

If not results Hope.

The Beatles sung "All we need is love" but in truth after any tragedy I think the thing people need most is Hope.  Another shooting another time I can not watch tv or listen to the news and again the sadness returns. I watched CBS Sunday Morning today as I do every week. Knowing at some point I may have to pause or fast forward through names and numbers I can't hear. I know to those that lost someone hearing their name makes you think they will be remembered but I can tell you 5 years afterwards that sometimes that is the hardest thing. Not that you don't love and remember those that you lost but just like losing my mom sometimes it is easier not to think about the end and just remember the good times we had.

Well seeing the young man from the high school speak his mind about change and about expecting something this time from people in positions of power who have not budged before on gun laws made me think. The thing this kid wants is hope. Now I know how this thing played out in the past and every tragedy the survivors think this is the time that Congress is going to listen. This time there will be change. Well the one thing the young man said today that got me was that if they elected officials don't make a change that we will have to. Now in my mind that is saying if you won't change the laws fine expect the end of your term to be the end of your political career. Because honestly people don't change and if you want change then you want new people. And the only way that happens if more than 5 percent of the voting population get out and vote for a change.

I always find it interesting how time changes your perspective on an event. But some situations shouldn't have to happen. In 2011 I volunteered at my nephew's school a few times a week while I was unemployed. I went through a back ground check and a stood outside for fire drills and sat on the floor under the window during a lock down with the blinds closed. These things were all before our family's tragedy. Before I believed it could happen to someone I love. As a volunteer sometimes the teacher would let me know the drill was coming just so I was prepared and knew what to do to assist.

As for Hope. After Brian and I came home we went to a group counseling for people who had lost relatives. I only went once. I couldn't do it again because what I wanted was to see progress. To see that it gets better. I wanted to see time does heal all wounds. Even big gaping ones that you at that moment can't imagine healing.  I will not share the things I heard that night but I didn't see hope. It could be that group had been together a long time and they commiserated with each other and their pain but Brian and I were not the only people there that night for the first time and some of these people had been dealing with their loss for years and I felt were no further along in the grieving process than we were. I found other people to talk to and I found that those people didn't have to live through the same things that I did to listen. Same goes for all the rest of the people and their own personal struggles. Sometimes someone on the outside looking in can gleam a bit of hope for you.

So before I go to work today again I pray. A prayer I have prayed to many times before but because I have hope will probably pray again. Dear Father please watch over the people suffering losses this big because any loss is a large loss to You. Hold them in Your hands and let them know that their is hope. There is a light and that light is You. Amen.

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